Tuesday, April 10, 2007,12:19 AM
Traveler ch. 19


19

Yoshizawa closed the door behind her and leant against it for a moment. Aya was crying. She could hear the sobs coming from inside the room and wondered if that little talk had been a good idea. If, at least, could change something…

The singer sighed and raised her eyes, just to meet with someone else’s.

“How long you’ve been here?

“Enough to see Miki leaving and enough to hear part of your conversation too. Sorry”

“It’s ok… Wait, Miki was here?”

“Yeah.., and she seemed angry…”

“Great. Now I’ll have to deal with her too”

Rika stared at the younger. Yossi looked tired, overwhelmed by the pressure that everybody was putting on her. So different from the girl she heard a few minutes ago… The strength had disappeared and now, it was just a normal girl, far away from her home, trying to hold the weight of somebody else’s actions over her shoulders. It wasn’t fair…

“I just want Aya to be ok” sighed Yossi again.

It’s not fair…

“I hope she didn’t misunderstand me. I’m just trying to make things easier for her before I leave…”

…how I’m going to let you go now? It’s not fair that you care just about her. What about me? I’m here too; I’ll miss you too, not just the past anymore but you, the girl that came from another world to save us. It’s not fair to make me fall for you again and say that you’re going to leave as if no one cared about it.

“What if Konkon can’t repair the Traveler? It would be so bad to stay?”

I’m sorry… I need to know it. I’m hurting you. I can see it in your eyes, the restless, but I’m hurting myself too, ‘cause I know the answer…

Yossi froze. Not able to go back home? She’d denied thinking about that possibility before. The single thought made her shiver. She had to go back. She was going to graduate soon, she wanted to see Miki teasing the youngers and running after whoever dared to wear a short skirt in front of her. She wanted to try a solo and see how many more generations Morning Musume could handle. There were still so many things for her to do… but, the most important.., she needed to see Rika, her Rika, and tell her how much she missed her.

“I…”

Ishikawa sealed her lips before the younger could say anything.

“Please…” Yoshizawa heard Rika’s tiny voice whispering in her ear and felt something wet in her cheek at the same time “…stay”

***

I could try it…

She had decided, after spending the last two hours crying, that it was time to do something. Yossi was right; she didn’t want to be alone, but…

It has to be her?

Both girls had been staring at each other for a few seconds already, standing in silence at the exit of the rooms. Well, if Aya was going to do something, she’d never have a better chance to do it.

“Where are you going?” asked the younger, trying to sound nice for once.

“Outside”

Miki’s answer was cold. Something was wrong.

“Alone?” tried Aya again.

“Yeah”

“Can I go?”

“No”

Definitely, something had changed. Fujimoto’s words, or rather monosyllables, were like ice bullets. The night before she’d had said something like ‘you shouldn’t ‘cause your leg’s still weak’ or ‘better let’s go to my room and have fun’ but no… Just that glare… Even so, when Miki began to walk away, Aya tried to follow her. Before she could take two steps, the older turned to her again.

“Stay-here”

HA! As if someone could make Aya change her mind now.

She saw Miki leaving through a little door at one side of the square and wait a bit before going after her. Forgetting about her previous plans about trying to be friends with Fujimoto, now Aya’s priority was found the reason about Miki’s change of attitude towards her. No one could be flirty and playful one night and cold like a stone the next day.

The vegetation was dense outside. It seemed that the complex was surrounded by a forest where the paths had disappeared already. It’d be difficult to follow Miki’s steps there. After all, maybe had been a bad idea…

“I told you to stay”

Aya was surprised by a rough voice behind her.

“I don’t accept orders from anyone” she fought back.

“It wasn’t an order. It was a suggestion. It’s dangerous…”

“Then, why are you here?”

“It’s a good place to be alone” answered Miki a bit annoyed “Go back inside”

“Come with me”

“What’s wrong with you today?!” Fujimoto shouted almost with rage “Last night you wanted to get rid of me no matter what and now you’re like an annoying puppy following me around!”

“Oh! And who was the puppy yesterday, Tan?” said Aya sarcastically “I have to remember you that were your hands the ones trying to get into my pants at the first chance?!”

“I’ve changed my mind!”

Matsuura should felt relieved. Since the first moment she’d wanted to get rid of Miki and forget that the older had even touched her but, instead of that, the sudden change in Fujimoto’s attitude hurt her some way. Now that she was going to give her a chance Miki didn’t want it? Oh no, no one rejects Aya Matsuura.

The older was going to walk away and disappear again but Aya stopped her. She took Miki by her arm and turned the girl towards her. Now they where face to face, so near that they could feel each other breathe.

“Tell me that you’re not dying to kiss me right now” teased Matsuura.

Strong arms surrounded her waist and Aya smirked. Finally some reaction. Miki attracted her until there wasn’t any space between their bodies and tilt her head a bit to the right.

“I’m not…” she whispered almost caressing Aya’s lips with hers “…but you are”

Aya was, indeed, dying to kiss those lips teasing her, but her stubbornness didn’t let her take the first step. She wasn’t going to let Miki win their little battle so easily.

“The Princess and the Monster…” said Fujimoto again, this time the cold tone in her voice had been replaced with something else. Sorrow maybe? “It’d never work…”

“Stop calling me princess” Aya was looking straight at Miki’s eyes. At some moment her arms had ended around the older’s neck as if she feared that Fujimoto could leave.

“Not until you stop hating me”

I… I don’t hate you…

“Not until you understand that I couldn’t do anything”

It was my fault. I was the one who left her…

“Not until you stop thinking that I’m a monster”

I’m the monster, the weak one. I blamed the others when I was the only one to blame.

The younger couldn’t stand Miki’s look and turned her head trying to avoid that intense eyes staring at her.

Maybe it’s true that I hate you. I hate you because who you are, because what you’re doing to me. And I hate myself ‘cause I let you do it. You make me feel alive and I don’t deserve it. I hate you. I hate you because all my strength means nothing when you look at me…

“Say something”

I need you.., and that’s why I hate you more.

Miki was still waiting an answer when Matsuura buried her face on the older’s shoulder.

“Aya?”

Suddenly, Fujimoto realized how intimate was that hug, far from being just something physic or sexual. The words she heard hours ago in that room meant nothing now. Aya was accepting her, maybe even forgiving her… They could forget the past and start again…

“Tan…” this time Matsuura’s voice didn’t sound mocking saying the other girl’s nickname. She turned her head and let her lips caress Miki’s neck slightly “…will you stay by my side?”

“As long as you want”

The answer left Miki’s lips almost instantly and just then, hearing her own words, she realized how long she’d been waiting for someone to ask her that.



To be continued...

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